Effortlessly, so effortlessly offering a workshop together with Titou Cardoso in Paris this weekend. It didn’t even feel like working. Beautiful. Just like we imagined it would be. We tied into each other’s teachings and adopted to the needs of the participants.
I’ll share a story that I told during the workshop, which I was faced with a couple of hours later. It’s about a friend’s rat, all our rats in fact.
As we were walking home in Stockholm some days ago my friend and I, he suddenly stoped on the slope, and turned towards me and asked:
– Are there rats here?
– I don’t think so, no I haven’t seen any, I said. Why?
– I’m just so scared of rates. I don’t know why. They terrify me.
He stood there, paralyzed by the thought of a rat crossing the path, frozen, couldn’t move.
– I know it’s not logical, I know it won’t jump up and attack me, he said.
– I’m here to protect you, it’s not like a tiger or an elephant, I said jokingly.
A courageous man, who made it across the world to build a life in a new country.
– You can do it, just walk, despite your fear, I said.
– I can do it, it’s just stupid…
As he spoke the words I could see how he gathered power to convince himself to walk. Scanning the path and its surroundings, he finally took a leap.
We all have a rat, or many, at least I do. His courage to share inspired me to reflect on my biggest rat. My fear of not being professional enough.
Me and my fear had an encounter in the workshop in Paris. Preparing for the workshop it hadn’t occurred to me to ask Thierry if I had to speak in French. And when I did ask him the same morning of the workshop, it was too late. French it was. A language I hadn’t spoken in 10 years.
Thierry’s relentless and compassionate patience and the participants kindness allowed me to do it with ease. But two thirds into the workshop though I was getting tired from concentrating to listening and speaking. I started asking him for every body part. At one point when I switched to English, he turned to me with a warm smile on his face and said:
– There’s a lot of doubt now?
My whole body had contracted by the mere thought of “I can’t do this”, “I’m not being professional”, “they don’t understand”, “they have paid for this…” and I couldn’t seem to find the words anymore.
Thierry reminded me that I was stuck in my mind, believing my thoughts to be true. When, in reality they understood me perfectly and loved the experience.
How constricting our rats can be, preventing us from being true to ourselves and accessing the language that cuts across perfect words, the language of the heart. A great mindful reminder to myself.
What’s your rat?
What’s your habitual response when you think about it, see it, experience it?
If you are every in Paris, drop-in on Thierry’s workshop series: